Yeah, to be honest I have no idea what I am doing right now. I have created blogs before, Facebook groups, Youtube Vlogs and more! And still to this day....I have managed to NOT follow through continually with any of them. I feel filthy. I feel as if I have gained knowledge about the world and how to live in it. I feel as if I am blessed beyond belief and all should know the thoughts that course through my brain! I feel as if I am THE ONE - THE ONE that God almighty will use to 'CHANGE THE WORLD', yet again... But, still to this day, I feel useless. I feel as if I do have integrity, and it resembles that, of the same excrements that come out of my behind.
I write not in praise of folly. I write satirically. I write that one may know and note that this blog is written by an 18 year old college student who claims to have a treasure worth selling all his possessions for, yet has not sold anything (literally and metaphorically). I write so that one may know that we who claim discipleship to the one who grants wisdom beyond measure, grace unconditionally, mercy with utter compassion, and judgment set by righteousness - are completely and utterly sinful, but by the grace of God have been given the eyes to be able to see and choose righteousness. I write so that those who read this know that I am not THE ONE. That no matter how hard I try, I will never be able to surpass the greatly surpassing faithfulness and love that Jesus Christ has already shown to the world. I write so that I may be able to learn discipline. That I may think before I speak, and that I may spend more time thinking.
A culture full of so-called "screw-ups, failures, good-for-nothings, and insecurities"...And yet I have chosen to sit on the sideline with a ready answer that screams "forgiveness, victory, able-through-grace, and faithful 'til the end." To be honest, this blog will not always be something one should read in order to seek immediate encouragement. This is not a self-help website. It is, by the grace of God, a finger pointing directly to scripture.. I seek to speak the truth. Though many times I may fail..grace will prevail.
I am by no means "perfect." I have continued since I was in elementary school to struggle with Pornography. I will blog about this from time to time. I will update people on my progress. But, I must warn you that I will not hold back from the truth. The truth is that approximately 40 million people in the United States alone are involved in some sort of sexual relationship involving the internet. And, my question is to you is what are you doing to help? Let us not forget the poor in the spirit. We tend to remember the poor in the flesh-WHICH WHEN WE DO IS A BEAUTIFUL SIGHT TO SEE- but remember that there are those all around you suffering simply because they do not know Christ. They are poor in their spirit and desire the same attention and missions and ministry work as those poor in the flesh all around the world.
I may not update another blog post for another two months. I may do it everyday. I am weak and need to practice more integrity and discipline...But through this process I hope that many who come to read these blog posts would be convicted, strengthened, encouraged, and enlightened to what it truly means to abide in the faithfulness of Jesus Christ, Lord and Saviour.
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.