My heart has been overthrown by a kingdom of worry. I have lost the battle to achieving purity in all senses of the word. I have fallen in thought, worship, and deed. I have idolized the things in life that should not have the the slightest opportunity to consume. I have allowed the idea of being loved by all, getting money, having a "normal" life, and being "the best me I can be" without Christ, to overtake my soul. I have let this go out of control in my heart and I need to get back to a place of worship. I will not blog as much because I wish to blog out of a heart of worship towards God through my love for my ability to write that he has given me. I want to be in the word of God more and I want to use it more in my writing without being fearful to what people may think. I want to open God's word more and not be afraid at what he says to me. I want to have an joyful spirit in which I completely satisfied in what God has given me. I created a blog-site, I was able to get advertisements put up and now I can feel the fear creeping in my heart...that the more I write about Christ the less views I will get. But, to God be the glory! It is not about money, it is not about academics, it is not about being talented, intelligent, or anything else except for the love of God. I wish to grow and flourish in the presence of God. I want to bear the fruits of spirit more and for that I believe I need to take time to be still before the Lord more often. I need to spend more time worshiping. I need to spend more time loving. I need to spend more time with Christ and I need to love it more than anything else in this world. I am thankful for the blessings that I have been given and all the blessings still yet to come. Thank you for reading this. Keep my life and my heart in your prayers as I continue to seek to imitate the life the Christ. Keep the people in poverty all around the world in your prayers tonight and throughout this holiday season. And give unto others as you would have them give unto you.