I must admit that writing under the "Relationships" section of my blog-site about what I am about to write about is a little bit odd...But, nevertheless what I am about to write about is, in it's own way, a relationship of some kind.
I am writing about where I am going to college.
As of now I attend Southeastern University in Lakeland, Florida...and to be honest I do not like being here. Now, it is believed that most Freshman who enter into College do tend to doubt whether or not they have made the right choice in University, but I cannot tell the difference anymore between a simple doubt and my downright dissatisfaction with this place.
Don't get me wrong, the University is not some sort of death-camp that literally spends most of it's time draining the most enjoyment out of my life that it can....But, the University has not done anything to benefit me either, or so it feels.
Part of me does not even know why I am writing this because I already know the answer that could solve my immediate dissatisfaction with this place.. And, that answer is to stop trying to run from where I already am, and to enjoy my opportunities to the best of my abilities.
I sincerely believe that there is no situation too great or too small that cannot be enjoyed if there is the will and desire to find some sort of enjoyment within it. It is not as if being at this that I do not see ways for me to enjoy being here cause there are about 4,000 other students who seem to be having the time of their lives on the same campus as me. If I really pressed in to the school, got involved more, reached out to some more friends and just spent more time enjoying my time in college rather than analyzing my dissatisfaction in college I probably would have more fun!
I keep trying to run away. And, since you're probably wondering right about now "what's he even 'dissatisfied' about", I'll tell you -- but they are just miniscule things in the grand scheme of what I truly need to enjoy life. The things that bug me about Southeastern are it's 35 mandatory chapel credits, which didn't seem like much at the beginning of the semester since there are 90 chapels, but to be honest sometimes I just don't feel like waking up early in the morning to go - sue me. I don't like (personally) that if I am going to go to a Christian University that I don't feel as if I am being fed enough - I feel a lot of college students getting emotional but sometimes I don't feel like I am being fed enough in the chapels and bible-based classes (It's probably due to my pride problem and/or my difference in theological beliefs I'm more reformed in a pentecostal school, but either way the pure love of Christ should drive me to be humble and ready to grow). I don't like how the school spirit here is like my butt. I don't like how we can't throw a dance party on campus without the school thinking there is sex and alcohol involved, and I don't like how every weekend most people on campus decide to go home and the campus is empty with nothing to do.
But, now that I have finished complaining like I little three-year-old, I must be honest even with all these things going on I don't think I should be completely annoyed. I think there should be ways for me to find ways to be fed! Find ways for me to enjoy some more school spirit! Find ways to dance and party on my own time! Because, in the end I just feel like all I am trying to do is run away from the place where I know I was called to be, simply because I am here.
So why not make the best of it? I am blessed beyond comparison to even be able to attend College! I'll need some prayer for this and I'll definitely need some humility, but I think I can enjoy my school year! I know I can, and so I will do my best to find ways to enjoy it! I'll keep you all updated! Sorry for the rant, it's 3 am and I took a nap at 10 pm til midnight so my brain kind of exploded on me just now. To be honest I'm not even sure if half of this post even followed a logical pattern of thought.....it is what it is though.
(I write this not to put down Southeastern University, but rather to put down stubborn and prideful self in order that I might be able to enjoy the place that God has put me for now. I hope that this message does not offend anyone, this is just my personal belief towards things!)
Alright, I'm gonna keep this simple and straight to the point.....if you're a guy and do not have close guy friends......get them. They are key to your success as a man! And more importantly, if you're a christian guy and do not have close christian guy friends..............GET THEM!
I cannot explain how much of a blessing my guy friends back home in Maryland and my Guy friends here in Lakeland, Florida at Southeastern University are to me! The other day me and a couple of guys at Southeastern got together and decided after the men's basketball game, which Southeastern sadly lost, we would get together and have a small little Bible study! When we got together we did not know necessarily what book we should read, but we got together prayed and decided we would, first and foremost all the Holy Spirit to work in us and guide our talk, but also we would go around and talk about how each one of us had been doing in our relationship with God.
Somehow, I am not quite sure how, but we all got on the topic of lust and pornography. A nasty dirty topic that too many people and Christians seek to avoid, and yet we began talking about our struggles with this and it was encouraging to be a part of! A group of guys gathered together with one common ground, which is Christ is amazing, but a group of guys gathered together with one common ground, which is Christ and their sin, is life-changing! Each one of us, by the grace of God were able to be transparent with each other and honest about our faults and failures, and we knew we would not judge each other because we each knew we had Christ and at the forefront of our minds!
Getting involved with a group of people who are going to encourage your walk with God is incredible! Yes, co-ed Bible studies are amazing! I believe people she keep doing them! But, at the same time, do not simply have those only because there are things that girls deal with that guys cannot fully comprehend and there are things guys deal with that girls cannot fully comprehend!
Get some friends of the same sex and encourage each other and keep each other accountable! We will have a much more pure and strong male and female population if more people are secure in who they are in Christ, and I believe this comes through spending more time with those who also are at the same common ground as you are in Christ!
Hope this all made sense! Just a little word I had on my heart and something I wanted to express!
Here's a video of me and my boys back home in Maryland: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_m1W5jPy8DQ&list=UU1gKjXLObb4z5NfL13q4MSw&index=2&feature=plcp
So...there I am in English class doing an in-class quiz correction over another student's quiz. I have never really talked to the girl who's quiz I was presently correcting until she looked at me and said, "I'm gonna change that." I had no idea what was going on so I looked at her and responded by saying, "huh?" She, a little annoyed, looked at me and then said the same thing again. I then had to repeat myself a little louder, and a little more confused. She then pointed at her quiz and and the answer she had just gotten wrong.
Now, here's the thing, the one thing I hate about being a Christian is being called a "goody-two-shoes." So, when she pointed at her quiz that I was grading and said she was going to change her answer so that she would get the answer right everything in me wanted to just recline in the chair, put my hands on my head, and say, "yeah for sure." But, my stomach was cringing like it never has before! I mean it's just a quiz right? I should just let this one thing slide right....Then I remembered the verse in Acts 20:26 that says, "...I declare to you today that I am innocent of the blood of any of you", and I realized my job wasn't to necessarily cause a scene in the entire room and stop this woman who I have never talked to before from cheating; my job was to sincerely love her like Christ has and remind her of another option she could take instead of cheating, and that option was just to get the answer wrong.
So, I looked at her, and fearing being labeled a "goody-two-shoes", said to her, "Are you sure you wanna do that...it's cheating ya know?" Following this was a moment of pure beauty....she stopped. She became immensely hesistant and I was jumping for joy! I started saying in my mind, "I just changed someone's mind from cheating!" And it was then that the moment ended. She, took her pen and marked her answer to be correct, and changed one from earlier too.. I tried to show love to someone else by looking out for them and I believe that's what life is all about.
My point isn't that I did anything "heroic" or even to some "admirable." My point is that I tried to have integrity in the little things, and integrity, I believe, means looking out for those around you as well as yourself.